Saza On The Rox

det e bara en prövning
det e bara en prövning
det e bara en prövning

dont's sweat it

andas in
andas ut

keep thinking happy thoughts

That there isn’t really anything there. It’s just empty. Nothing. And then is when it hits you – the big question. Your are starting to question yourself, your life – your existence.

When you broaden your perspective and you’re realizing that what you thought was important, what’s been your priority 1 – isn’t really worth a rats ass. You been looking the wrong way, your been aiming your attention in the wrong direction and you’re been focusing on all the wrong things.

It’s a double-edged sword really. It’s terrifyingly depressing, in the same time as it is terrifyingly revealing. Like, what have you actually been doing all these years? Why all the time wasted? On the other hand – what are you gonna do with this enlightment? The world is at your feet, but do you dare take the leap? Or will you just stay where you’re safe, right where you are – and have been all this time. The answer might not be as obvious as one might think. Well, maybe the answer. But not so much the actual action. It’s one thing to say and a completely different thing to do.

But maybe you’re not there just yet. Maybe you’re still trying to broaden your perspective. Maybe you are at the questioning stage, where there’s nothing much to believe in, to hope for. Not much to live for. So the crucial thing is then to broaden your perspective. Look around you , look inside you. Listen to your self, feel that connection – where it’s you and only you in the entire world. Ask yourself what it is that you need, what you want and what you can’t live without.

So there is where you must go from. Start from yourself – only then you can move forward. And the best of luck to you with that.

im about to do it. do what i've waited for, far too long. but now there's no more reasons to wait. seriously, this is the moment. this is the date.

ready steady GONE.

Its complicated, it always is
That’s just the way it goes
Feels like I've waited too long for this
I wonder if it shows
Cause I can feel it coming over me
I just need to stop it this time

When love takes over
You know you must deny
When love takes over
You know you have to go

Give me a reason I gotta know
Did you ever feel it too?
For all of this I blame you
Can't stop looking out for you to hold my hand
It feels like I've fallen
You could have loved me right, like I know you can
But we lost it all

When love takes over
I must deny
When love takes over
I know I have to go

tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight
- tonight is the night.

.. is just not big enough. you are standing in my way. you are blocking my path to success. you need to go. now.

jag vet att jag klarar av det. jag vet att det egentligen inte är alls svårt.
jag vet att det är det enda rätta. jag vet att det är vad som förväntas av mig.
jag vet att jag mår bättre av det. jag vet att jag mår sämre utan det.
jag vet att jag måste. jag vet att jag inte kan gå vidare annars.

jag vet.
men jag vill inte.


eller så vill jag visst. men jag kan inte. något hindrar mig. eller är det min vilja som hindrar mig? vill jag fast jag inte kan - eller kan jag fast jag inte vill?

jag vet inte vad jag vill. jag vet bara vad jag måste.
men hur ska jag klara det? det är så stort, så avgörande.

JAG MÅSTE.